still_emerging

Choice: The REAL Difference Between "Haves" and "Have Nots"

2006-12-13T06:57:00.000-08:00

Part of the ministry my faith community shares in is providing food stuff for a local pantry. At Thanksgiving we put together large baskets of food for those in need. The pantry gave us a specific list of what to place in those baskets, and the people receiving them had no choice about what they were eating for Thanksgiving dinner. Next to that very specific list which I posted on my fridge as a reminder, was my family's dinner menus for the week. I had twelve diffferent menu options to choose from and we could choose to eat them on whatever day in whatever order we felt like.

This got me thinking about what a luxury it is to be able to choose, and how much I take this freedom to choose for granted.

I can choose what my family is going to eat or not. I can choose to go to the dentist or not. I can choose to walk or drive somewhere. I can choose whether to go on vacation and I can choose where I want to go. I even have the luxury of choosing whether to get a job or not. I possess the privilege of choice. And when I don't have the freedom to choose, I get mad, frustrated, upset.

As an inane example, my health insurance plan limits me to choose only those physicians who are designated as "preferred providers." The county by county list in my state of these "Preferred Providers" is very short. In a particular specialty, there may only be one doctor listed, and that lack of choice leaves me feeling powerless and indignant. I want/expect the right to choose what doctor I go to. But at least I can choose whether to go to the doctor's or not.

Those in poverty have no such luxury of choice.

Who's Shutting You Out?

2006-12-13T06:31:00.000-08:00

ABC's 20/20 Program entitled "Privileged in America: Who's Shutting You Out" asked the wrong question and pointed the finger in the wrong direction. It changes nothing to encourage people to look at all the ways others are putting you down, shutting you out. It places blame on some system, some people group, some individual outside ourselves essentially handing power over our destiny to "them." Rather than stirring up our ire for all the ways we are suppressed, which only serves to reinforce or breed new prejudice, why not attempt to heal, reconcile, and empower us to move beyond the brokenness of this world in which we live?

The better question is the self-reflective one: "Who am I shutting out?"

We ALL have prejudices and biases that run in many, many directions and are derived from deep and unhealthy sources. A call to self-awareness, an inivitation to look critically at this internal brokenness within ourselves is what is more likely to bring change. As we see the ugliness in our lives and hearts and actions towards others, and as we hold ourselves accountable to act and think and be in new ways that are whole and healthy and reconciling then we will see wounds mended, systems transformed, and humans treating humans as, well, humans.

plant, planting, planted

2006-11-03T09:41:00.000-08:00

Church planting challenges . . . a poem:

dreaming

daring

risking

obeying

family

friends

self

new 'converts'

funding

timing

staffing

studying

gathering

growing

gleening

giving

teaching

learning

challenging

accepting

changing

adapting

releasing

reclaiming

dreaming . . .

daring . . .

risking . . .

obeying . . .

celebrating!

Rethinking "Membership" in Emergent Faith Communities

2006-11-01T07:35:00.000-08:00

Through my travels and my blogging and my various pastors webs, I have had the opportunity to connect with a wide variety of emergent faith communities. So many rich spiritual expressions exist such as to encourage my innovative/creative soul. In the midst of all the glorious diversity, and all the fruitfulness we each celebrate as we faithfully live into God's call, we each seem to hit up against the same dilemma - 'membership.'

After so many years - 5 seems to be typical - we hit a wall or block. Faith communities and their leaders need a cell of consistent, committed, spiritually mature people who can help sustain the whole, provide the coherence, create a sense of 'home base' for all the flux and flow of people and relationships our generation is becoming all too familiar with.

But how do you name this commitment, invite others into it when our very existence stems from reaching out to 'commitment-phobes,' and 'belong before you believe' has become our mantra? Is it possible that sustainability is a myth when it comes to church/faith community? (How often have I ashewed traditional local churches that are on virutal life support, wondering why they are kept alive artificially?) Is a church/faith community God-ordained with a limited life expectancy?

OR

Do we have some re-thinking to do around commitment, membership?

What might palatable, appropriate, Scriptural, Christ-centered, people-directed membership look like?

2006-10-31T17:41:00.000-08:00

The practice of conversation:
~ we acknowledge one another as equals
~ we try to stay curious about one another
~ we recognize that we need each other’s help to become better listeners
~ we slow down so that we have time to think and reflect
~ we remember that conversation is the natural way humans think together
~ we expect it to be messy at times
(Meg Wheatley, “turning to one another,” p. 29)

Be brave enough to start conversation that matters.
Talk to people you know.
Talk to people you don’t know.
Talk to people you never talk to.
(Meg Wheatley, “turning to one another,” p. 145)

“Listening is such a simple act. It requires us to be present, and that takes practice, but we don’t have to do anything else. We don’t have to advise, or coach, or sound wise. We just have to be willing to sit there and listen. If we can do that, we can create moments in which real healing (learning understanding, growth, change, self-knowledge, etc.) is available.”
(Meg Wheatley)

Center Yourself

2006-10-31T17:29:00.000-08:00

Be still . . .
Quiet your body, your mind, your heart, your spirit.

Be still . . .
Breathe.
Be.
Listen:

“Be still and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
I am exalted in the earth.”

God is our refuge and strength,
A very present help in trouble.
Therefore we will not fear,
though the earth should change,
though the mountains should shake
in the heart of the sea;
though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble with its tumult.

“Be still and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
I am exalted in the earth.”

There is a river whose streams make glad
the city of God,
The holy habitation of the Most High.
God is in the midst of the city;
It shall not be moved;
God will help it when the morning dawns.
The nations are in an uproar, the kingdoms totter;
God utters a word, the earth melts.
The Lord of Hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge.

“Be still and know that I am God!
I am exalted among the nations,
I am exalted in the earth.”

The God of Hosts is with us;
The God of Jacob is our refuge. (Psalm 46:1-7, 10-11)

Longing for ONE Emergent WOMAN leader . . .

2006-10-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

just one! So that I don't have to engage in anymore conversations like the one I was part of yesterday. . .

I was part of a group of (male) planting 'gurus' - they haven't planted in a while (what does that say about how unhealthy planting is?!?) but help others plant (is it really ethical/moral to invite others into a space you yourself know is disfunctional?)

While describing myself and my ministry, I identified myself as an emergent leader. After the proverbial (or so it seems) "Oh, do you believe in that stuff?" I had to sit and listen to names of all these (really just four) emergent leaders this one person had connected with at one time or another. (Was I supposed to be impressed? Was he demonstrating how 'inclusive' and "generous" he is?)

Among the 'usual list of suspects' (some who are my friends, some who are not) NOT ONE SINGLE WOMAN was named. Not a single one.

It is not that 'we' are not thinking great theological thoughts and doing even greater incarnational activities. It's not that 'we' don't have books, seminars, workshops, and really awesome conferences. It's not that 'our' churches are not successful. It's not that 'our' blogs are not widely known or read. It's not that 'we' are not hip dressers and really attractive people with great hair.

So what is it? Why are there no definitive female voices whose names are dropped in casual conversation with the same reverence and awe that one brags about 'knowing' (read: saw from a distance at NPC; answered your question during a Q&A; rode with you on the elevator at the convention center. ) Brian McLaren?

AND IF THERE WERE JUST ONE WOMAN, WOULD SHE REALLY SPEAK FOR ME?

They Used to Call Me "Betty" - The Power of Naming Our Own Realities

2006-10-05T10:14:00.000-07:00

To name is to define and shape reality. For eons women have accepted male naming as a given, especially in the spiritual realm. The fact is, for along time now, men have been naming the world, God, sacred reality, and even women from
their own masculine perspective and experience and calling it universal experience . . . This naming tend[s] to benefit men’s needs and concerns and in lots of cases to oppress women. [Is] it such a wild thought that women might start naming God, sacred reality, and their own lives themselves?
(Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine San Francisco: Harper, 1996, p. 38)

They used to call me “Betty.”

Both of my grandmas bore the name Elizabeth, and family politics being what they are, Elizabeth was the obvious choice for the second child, a daughter, born to my parents in 1960. And so, I was christened Elizabeth Eileen Nagy, but, like my grandmothers before me, everyone called me “Betty.” Betty! There is not a woman’s name I can think of with more nicknames than Elizabeth: Liz, Lizzy, Liza, Libby, Beth, Bets, Betsy, Babs, Lil Bit, and more, yet, somehow our clan had settled on “Betty” as the preferred diminutive. Now, lest I offend the Bettys of the world, my grandmothers among them, it is a fine name, an upstanding and even wholesome name, but somehow it just never felt like mine. It didn’t seem to fit – like shoes two sizes too small, or jeans I’d outgrown, the name, simply put, ‘pinched.’

I mastered writing my name at an early age, afterall, I only had to learn four letters. And I loved answering the question designed to show off how much I’d learned, “How do you spell your name?” “B-E-T-T-Y,” I reply confidently. However, while much easier to spell than some of my friends’ names, “Betty,” conjured up for me visions of my dearly-loved but ancient grandmothers, or worse yet, old maids, spinsters – unmarried and unloved - an image often reinforced by my older brother when, in his unkind moments, he called me an “old biddy.” And it didn’t help that no girls my age went by the name either- Liz, Libby, Beth, yes, but no Betty. Only fictional cartoon characters, and ditzy ones at that, were called by my name – Betty Boop, Betty Rubble, Betty from the Archie comic books. So, I grew up despising my name (and myself, were I totally honest) because it didn’t fit who I was, who I wanted to be.

The lack of fit intensified as I grew older such that when I relocated to a new city a number of years ago, I decided to ‘change’ my name. Rather than introducing myself to new people I met as “Betty,” I asked them to call me “Elizabeth.” It has taken years for my family to adjust to this ‘new’ moniker, but finally I have a name that fits. It is strong, and regal, and seems ‘just the right size.’ They used to call me “Betty,” but I have chosen to rename myself. Hello, my name is “Elizabeth.”

They used to call me “bossy.”

From the time I was quite young, I have had a clear sense of how things “should” be. I have eyes to see order in the midst of chaos, and organization where none exists. I can be decisive in the face of indecision, and boldly confident when others feel insecure. Such behaviors in a young woman, I early discovered are undesirable and are, so I was repeatedly reminded, counter to my gender. Persistently acting out such behaviors, succumbing to these ‘manly’ traits earned me the name, “bossy.” But it was a label that didn’t seem to fit. I was not intending to be anyone’s boss, nor was I trying to take control. Clearly, it was meant as an insult, meant to put me in my place, or rather to remind me of my “place.” And it communicated that what came naturally to me, what was part of my bent or personality was somehow inappropriate, unnatural and wrong. So, I grew up despising my “bossy-ness” (and myself, were I totally honest) because it wasn’t acceptable. It was a deficiency in me that made me unacceptable.

And so I tried, really I did, to suppress the ideas, to silence that in me which compelled me to suggest change, to take initiative, or lead the way. I didn’t want to be ‘in charge,’ or to take away from any male’s position or authority. I just couldn’t halt the flow of ideas and insights. The “better” way to do something always seemed so obvious to me. I just couldn’t help myself. I had to speak up. Again and again, I would find myself labeled “bossy”, or in one particular Christian context, accused of having a “Jezebel Spirit.” Repeated exorcisms (literally) failed to deliver me of this most dreaded of demons. And so I would be called “bossy” whether it fit me or not, and would repentantly bear the imposed discipline for this un-lady-like and, worse yet, un-godly behavior. And time after time, I would compact my very self smaller and smaller wanting desperately to earn a different label, be called by a different name, a name that fit.

“What has been valued in the West [and the western Church] in women has too often been defined only in relation to the masculine: the good, nurturant mother and wife; the sweet, docile agreeable daughter; the gently supportive or bright achieving partner. This collective model [this superimposed name] is inadequate for life; we mutilate, depotentiate, silence, and enrage ourselves trying to compress our souls into it just as surely as our grandmothers deformed their fully breathing bodies with corsets for the sake of an ideal.”

(Sylvia Perera, quoted by Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A woman’s Journey from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine, San Francisco: Harper, 1996, p. 45; brackets mine)

Such squeezing, such compression to make myself fit another’s name and expectation for me felt wholly unnatural. Gradually, I became painfully aware of how uncomfortable it was for me to wear a name that didn’t belong to me, that didn’t fit. I also noticed that while Scripture was being used to expose my defects, my un-lady-like and ‘ungodly’ behavior, I did not sense any such censure from God. This awakening, this realization began slowly and then burst forth, “Wait a minute! If God does not accuse me, why should I accuse myself? If God is not displeased with my behavior, with me, then why should I be? If God does not name me “bossy,” why should I call myself that?” Yes, I am strong, outspoken, an organizer, a visionary. But maybe, just maybe, I deserve a new name, a name that fits. They used to call me “bossy,” but I have chosen to rename myself. Hello, my name is “leader.”

And it is from within this sense of dissatisfaction with wearing labels that no longer fit, this intolerance for ways of being and doing that no longer work that I now live into my call to lead. It is from this hard won right, this privilege-without-price to rename myself and my world that I now venture forth into ministry. For, I have come to a place in my life where it no longer feels acceptable or healthy to reshape myself to fit another’s label. It is no longer tolerable to wear names that do not fit. And I have only grown in my conviction that God neither expects nor require me to.

Currently, I am in the process of renaming:
God
Salvation
Evangelism
Scripture
Leadership
Worship
Church
Ministry
Church Planting
Accountability
Success . . . and on and on

While I claim the right to rename myself, my faith, my God, I know that I can only rightly and appropriately do so together, in conversation with those who also have found the old names, old labels, old ways of being to be confining and constricting. And now, as always, I remain submitted to the guidance of the Holy Spirit to help find the names that don’t compress or constrict. In community with God and others I am choosing to discover for myself names that fit. Hello, my name is . . .

Infinite names for an Infinite God: Toward a multi-dimensional God

2006-10-05T10:00:00.000-07:00

Communal Prayer

God who is . . .
Higher, wider, deeper, longer, than mere words can give expression;

God who is . . .
More beautiful, more holy, more just, more loving than humanity can envision;

God who is . . .
Beyond thought, wonder, reason, idea, knowledge, definition, imagination;

God who is . . .
Without border, without boundary, without limitation;

God who is . . .
God who was . . .
God who is to come . . .

We give you our praise, our lives, our love.

Infinite Names for an Infinite God

Like Uninvited Guests

One of the ways which women have felt excluded from the Table has stemmed from the Institutional Church’s claim to name God in exclusively male terms. Religion has given men a God like themselves – a God exclusively male in imagery, which legitimizes and seals their power. Through the use of androcentric language and patriarchal practices, women have been deprived of an image of God which affirms our being and dignity. Instead, we have been subjected to images of God which oppress and damage us and leave us feeling like uninvited guests, or more poignantly, like the dogs beneath the table catching crumbs the children drop.
Praxis – Briefly, share a story of a time when you felt like an uninvited guest at The Table of the Lord.

Limiting the Limitless

We are invited to reclaim images which give life and enable us to connect with the Divine. For, though humankind, male and female, were created in the image of God, The Divine is neither human nor a gendered being. Indeed God prohibits us from creating any sort of image of God saying - . . . take care and watch yourselves closely, so that you do not act corruptly by making an idol for yourselves, in the form of any figure – the likeness of male or female, the likeness of birds, or snakes or fish . . . (Deut. 4:15b-17)

No word, symbol, image, or picture adequately names or describes God. God’s own self-naming reflects a state of absolute being “I am that I am”. To use only one or a few images/metaphors limits who God is. Metaphors are complex, implied comparisons, not direct comparisons. When scripture uses metaphors to describe God, it makes not claim that God IS those things. While saying God is LIKE something – a father, a hen, a rock – Scripture also sustains those ways that God is NOT like a father, a hen, a rock.

Praxis –
~What is your “default” name for God?
~What meaning does it have for you and why?
~In what ways might this default name limit your view of God?
~Give some examples of when using that default name might not “fit” or be “appropriate.”

Seeing Half the Picture, Hearing Half the Story

God loses that multi-dimensional self, and becomes a single-gendered image, graven with words in the shape of Father, He, Male, etc. But the balancing answer is not to use only the corresponding feminine images because again we become guilty of the same sin of limiting God. Adding the suffix ‘ess’ to every God-name is not a sufficient solution because the feminine aspects are perceived as somehow inferior to the masculine counterpart in a religious and social system that is patriarchal. Nor is it satisfactory to agree to some sort of ‘divine compromise’ where Father and Son are male and the Holy Spirit is expressed in distinctly feminine terms.

HOWEVER, many of us can identify with Sue Monk Kidd’s claim:
I needed a sacred space free of the stain of sexism with core imagery that embraced the feminine, a space that welcomed women to places of power, engaged them fully as equals, and helped to heal their wound and empower their lives.

That is, we may need time to detox, to fully immerse ourselves in the Divine Feminine, so as to move forward and embrace God’s more infinite and unlimited being.

Praxis -
~Explain how it feels to you when God is spoken in gender-exclusive terms.
~Describe what has been most helpful to you in renaming and re-imaging The Divine.
~How might we better raise awareness of the need to broaden our ways of naming an infinite God?
~Name some ways we might extend grace to those who way of naming God is sexist or exclusionary?

Unengraving the Image – The many names of God

Female imagery of God DOES exist, as our list below reveals. Unfortunately, there are not enough feminine metaphors to satisfy either those who think God is male, or those who are convinced God is not. And invariably, the accompanying male pronouns used in biblical writings still attach a specific gender to these distinctly non-male images. As is said regarding biblical examples of female leaders – given the cultural context it is truly amazing that they are in there at all.

While gender exclusive language for God leaves women feeling un-affirmed and even ignored, the goal of infinitely expanding our ways of naming God, is not simply that we women feel good about ourselves in religious contexts, but that God is accurately imagined and rightly honored. (Though in accurately naming The Divine, we will of necessity feel good – whole, accepted, like invited guests.) Such accurate representation of the Infinite One requires utilizing an infinite number of names.

The way to accurately name God is by employing authentic, full-spectrum images of God – human/non-human, material/non-material, attributes/actions and more. “Diverse people speaking of an Infinite God cannot settle on a single way to name who God is.” In fact Jewish feminist, Marcia Falk believes that:

One name does not equal one Divinity. The monotheistic vision can only be realized through a multiplicity of names and images, a diversity broad enough to include, and thus, unite all of creation.

Praxis -
Using the attached list of ways to name The Divine, write a sample prayer around specific images of God that are most appropriate to a specific situation or setting drawing from the vast array of ways to name God. That is, how might you address God when praying for a cancer patient, a couple whose baby just died, a group of middle school students, an all-male consistory, a senior in a nursing home, a victim of abuse, etc.

A Common Reading

Bring many names, beautiful and good;
Celebrate, in parable and story,
Holiness in glory.
Living, loving God.
Hail and hosanna! Bring many names!

Strong mother God, working day and night.
Planning all wonders of creation,
Settling each equation,
Genius at play
Hail and hosanna! Bring many names!

Warm father God, hugging every child,
Feeling all the strains of human living,
Caring and forgiving
‘Til we’re reconciled.
Hail and hosanna! Bring many names!

Old aching God, grey with endless care.
Calmly piercing evil’s new disguises;
Glad of good surprises,
Wiser than despair.
Hail and hosanna! Bring many names!

Young, growing God, eager, on the move,
Saying “no” to falsehood and unkindness,
Crying out for justice,
Giving all you have.
Hail and hosanna! Bring many names!

Great living God, never fully known.
Joyful darkness beyond our seeing,
Closer yet than breathing,
Everlasting home.
Hail and hosanna! Bring many names!

(Brian Wren, copyrighted by Hope Publishing Co. Carol Stream, IL)

A Bibliography of Many Voices

Dille, Sarah J. Mixing Metaphors: God as Mother and Father in Deutero-
Isaiah (London: T & T Clark, 2004).

Flinders, Carol Lee Enduring Grace: Living Portraits of Seven Women Mystics (San Francisco: Harper Collins, 1993).

______________. Rebalancing the World: Why Women Belong and Men
Compete and How to Restore the Ancient Equilibrium
(San Francisco: Harper Collins, 2003).

Grenz, Stanley J. and Denise Muir Kjesbo Women in the Church: A Biblical
Theology of Women in Ministry (Downers Grove: InterVarsity, 1995).

Jewett, Paul K. Man as Male and Female (Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1975).

Johnson, Elizabeth A. She Who Is: The Mystery of God in Feminist
Theological Discourse, (New York: Crossroads Publishing, 1992).

Kidd, Sue Monk The Dance of the Dissident Daughter: A Woman’s Journey
from Christian Tradition to the Sacred Feminine (San Francisco:
Harper Collins, 2002).

Mollenkott, Virginia Ramey The Divine Feminine
(New York: Crossroad, 1983).

Piper, John and Wayne Grudem Recovering Biblical Manhood & Womanhood: A Response to Evangelical Feminism (Wheaton: Crossway Books, 1991).

Rae, Eleanor and Bernice Marie Daly Created In Her Image: Models of the
Feminine Divine (New York: Crossroads Publishing, 1990).

Sumner, Sara Men and Women in the Church (Downers Grove: InterVarsity
Press, 2003).

Wren, Brian What Language Shall I Borrow? God-talk in Worship: A Male
Response to Feminist Theology (New York: Crossroads Publishing,
1990).

Lot's Daughter speaks against the betrayal of trafficking our own children

2006-09-30T10:16:00.000-07:00

Choral Reading Genesis 19:1-8

Narrator: Two angels came to Sodom in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway of Sodom. When Lot saw them, he rose to meet them, and bowed down with his face to the ground.

Lot: Please, my lords, turn aside to your servant’s house and spend the night, and wash your feet; then you can arise early and go on your way.

Angel: No; we will spend the night in the square.

Narrator: But he urged them strongly; so they turned aside to him and entered his house; and he made them a feast, and baked unleavened bread, and they ate. But before they lay down, the men of the city, the men of Sodom, both young and old, all the people to the last man, surrounded the house, and they called out to Lot:

Men: Where are the men who came to you tonight? Bring them out to us, so that we may know them.”

Lot: I beg you, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. Look, I have two daughters who have not known a man; let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please; only do nothing to these men, for they have come under the shelter of my roof.

“Lament of a Daughter”

Great is the noise of the mob. Angry, violent men, all the men of the village, have surrounded our house – their mouths foam with hatred, their voices scream out evil, their throats spew forth wicked intent. The thundering of their vile suggestions resounds in our ears, and deadens us with terror.

In vain we cry out for mercy. In vain we cry out for peace. In vain we cry out for they cannot hear us. Their rage has deafened them to our begging. Their appetite has stopped up their ears to our pleas.

“It is a broken world that cannot hear the cries of the afflicted.”

Greater by far is the silence of my now-still heart. For rising above the din of the angry men’s shouts, I hear the familiar sound of my father’s voice, desperately trying to bring peace where there is no peace. But the lips I’ve known to speak forth only fatherly affection and harmless scolding, have just uttered forth words holding a vileness, a repulsiveness all their own: “Look, I have two daughters who have not known a man; let me bring them out to you, and do to them as you please.”

I cannot think. I cannot breathe. I can only scream, “NO!!!!”

But in vain I cry out for mercy. In vain I cry out for peace. In vain I cry out for my own father cannot hear me. Fear has deafened him to my begging. Terror has stopped up his ears to my pleas.

“It is a broken world that cannot hear the cries of the afflicted.”

I cry out to God Most High – send from heaven and save me! Put to shame those who trample me! I cry out for your steadfast love – I have never needed you more, Nor felt so far away from You, as I do right now!

“It is a broken world that cannot hear the cries of the afflicted.”

Child Sex Trafficking

RESOURCES:

Videos
“Human Trafficking”
LifeTime Television Production

“Born Into Brothels”

“Child Sex Trade”
A&E Television Production Documentary

Web Sites
www.ecpat.com

www.polarisproject.com

www.amnestyusa.org

www.preda.org

www.stopchildtourism.org

www.uswomenwithoutborders.com

Books
“Hidden Shame of the Church”

Ron Grady
W.C.C.

“Children in the Global Sex Trade”
Oconnell Davidson

“The Sexual Trafficking of Children”
Daniel S. Campagna
Donald L. Poffenberger

"The Gospel . . ."

2006-08-14T07:32:00.000-07:00

“The gospel, understood as the totality of God’s saving purposes and work culminating in Christ, is far greater and more comprehensive in its meaning than the Church has ever discovered.”

(Darrell Guder, “Be My Witnesses”, GR: Eerdman’s, 1985, p. 63)

“Human limitations – physical, emotional, and moral – impose limits on the hospitality we can offer and receive from others. Precisely because our rationales for inhospitality are based on human weaknesses, however, we must resist claiming divine authority for them. While we must continue saying “no” to hospitality to some people, we must be very wary of claiming God’s blessing on it. Human inhospitality does not necessarily coincide with divine inhospitality. Our temporal (earthly, here and now) exclusion of some does not imply their eschatological (end of time, eternal) exclusion from the heavenly banquet. God’s hospitality reaches out to those whom our hospitality cannot or even should not extend. This means that our exclusion of others is always provisional, always ready to be overturned by the surprising graciousness of God.”

(Amy Plantinga Plauw, “Renewing the Vision”, edited by Cynthia M. Campbell, ______: Geneva , 2000, p. 21)

“The world has sinned but is not abandoned. People who don’t know God through Jesus Christ are lost but are not forsaken. God is at work, even when there is no Christian church. God is present even before Christians appear on the scene.”

(Raymond Fung, “The Isaiah Vision” WCC, 1992, p. 26)

Of Christ and Salvation Lesslie Newbigin, missionary theologian describes his own position as:
“Exclusive” in the sense of affirming the unique truth of the revelation in Jesus Christ, but not in the sense of denying the possibility of salvation to those outside the Christian faith
“Inclusive” in the sense of refusing to limit the saving grace of God to Christians, but not in the sense of viewing other religions as salvific (providing salvation)
“Pluralistic” in the sense of acknowledging the gracious wok of God in the lives of all human beings, but not in the sense of denying the unique and decisive nature of what God has done in Jesus.”

(Leslie Newbigin, “The Gospel in a Pluaralistic Society” GR: Eerdman’s, 1989, 182-3)

"Nothing but divine movement"

2006-08-14T06:42:00.000-07:00

There is nothing but divine movement
in this
world.
(from "The Heart's Coronation" by Hafiz)

"Stop Being So Religious"

2006-08-14T06:38:00.000-07:00

What

do sad people have in

common?

It seems

they have built a shrine

to the past

And often go there

and do a strange wail and

worship.

What is the beginning of

happiness?

It is to stop being

so religious

that.

(From "The Gift" by Hafiz)

"Women need to . . ."

2006-08-14T06:33:00.000-07:00

Women need to
utilize their superior intelligence
about love
so that their hour's legacy
can make us all stronger and more clement.

for "A Mule Got Drunk and Lost in Heaven" by Hafiz

Register for East Coast Emerging Women's Event!

2006-07-25T13:25:00.000-07:00

Registration for the East Coast Event is open.

There' s room at the Table for YOU. To register or see the Gathering descriptor go to:
http://www.eventville.com/Catalog/EventRegistration1.asp?Eventid=1001787

Slippery Slope of Shifting Paradigms

2006-07-21T10:53:00.000-07:00

I should have known I was headed for a coral reef of disaster when I began rethinking, redefining, and re-enacting my theology. The day I started 'nuancing' the characteristics of God, and naming (aloud) the holes I found in the long-held notion of the inerrancy of Scripture was the day I began my descent.

Such open-mindedness, such lowering of my guard to the Evil One, (didn't the Dobsons and the Robertsons of the world warn me of my inevitable fate?) has left me prey to a whole host of 'heretical' thoughts.

I have fallen so far from my conservative, fundamental, pro-American, daughter-of-union-members roots that I am now planning on voting for a democratic governor this fall, and will be buying a foreign-made, high mpg vehicle when the time comes for a new car.

Down, down to the Abyss I go. Oh, the slippery slope of shifting paradigms.

Emerging Women Leaders' East Coast Gathering

2006-07-21T10:49:00.000-07:00

You are invited to the Table!!!

Emerging Women's East Coast Gathering
October 1 - 3
Virginia Beach VA.

We'll be staying and meeting at the Sandcastle Oceanfront Resort www.sandcastle-vabeach.com

The theme will be "A Seat At the Table" and will offer many 'table gatherings' (sessions) to choose from as well as plenty of time to enjoy our beautiful surroundings.

The registration fee is nominal and 'scholarships' will be available to those in financial need. Lodging, transportation and meals are not included. Registration will be available soon, but I wanted to let you to know you are invited to join us at this Table, and to encourage you to invite others as well. I look forward to sharing a place at the Table with you!

Contact:

Sherri sherace@aol.com
Liz mizliz00725@hotmail.com

Effloresce - an emerging women's journal

2006-07-21T10:48:00.000-07:00

http://emergent-us.typepad.com/emergentus/files/Effloresce200601F.pdf

It is unanimous . . .

2006-07-18T08:19:00.000-07:00

It is unanimous where I come
from.
Everyone agrees on one
thing:
It's no fun
When God is not near.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

The wise [one] learns what draws God
Near.

It is the beauty of compassion
In your heart.

(both from "It is Unanimous" by Hafiz)

The heart is . . .

2006-07-18T08:16:00.000-07:00

"The Heart is
The thousand-stringed
instrument
That can only be tuned
With Love."
(from "The thousand-stringed instrument" by Hafiz)

There is nothing . . .

2006-07-18T08:14:00.000-07:00

There is nothing but divine movment

In this world.

(from "The Heart's Coronation" by Hafiz)

More from Hafiz

2006-07-18T07:41:00.000-07:00

How true this is we long to keep God and the relationship we share to ourselves - for it is unique, a delight, precious. And yet it is not meant for ourselves alone for She is not a selfish lover. And so we share "our secret.'

"What The Hell"
The
Real love
I always keep a secret.
All my words
Are sund outside Her window,
For when She lets me in
I take a thousand oaths of silence.
But,
Then She says,
O, then God says,
"What the hell, Hafiz,
Why not give the whole world
My
Address."

And what a delight, how refreshing, to imagine God speaking in such a bawdy fashion, or with such a femanine accent. God's gender, for Hafiz, shifts to align with the metaphor or story he is unfolding.

"God's Bucket"
If this world
Was not held in God's bucket
How could an ocean stand upside down
On its head and never lose a drop?
If your life was not contained in God's cup
How could you be so brave and laugh,
Dance in the face of death?
[Dear one]
There is a private chamber in the soul
That knows a great secret
Of which no tongue can speak.
Your existence, my dear, O love my dear,
Has been sealed and marked
"Too sacred," "too sacred," by the Beloved -
To ever end!
Indeed God
Has written a thousand promises
All over your heart
That say,
Life, life, life,
Is far too sacred to
Ever end.

"This Constant Yearning"
We are
Like lutes
Once held by God.
Being away from His warm body
Fully explains
This
Constant
Yearning.

Reflections on "Night" by Elie Wiesel

2006-07-18T07:25:00.000-07:00

Moishe the Beadle to the young Elie Weisel: True dialogue, he says, is this:

[Humankind] asks and God replies. We cannot understand them. But they dwell in
the depth of our souls and remain there until we die. The real answers . . . you
will find only within yourself.

Reflection questions:
Why would God’s replies be hard/impossible to understand?
Wouldn’t humandkind be ‘better off’ with clear and direct answers?
Explain the ‘need’ for/existence of mystery in our communication with God, as you understand it.
How does this concept of ‘the answer is within’ differ from/ correspond with Gnoticism?
In what ways might it be either dangerous or discouraging to a soul?
Name some ways this might be an encouragement to a soul?
Might this simply another way of naming the inner working of the Holy Spirit, or is something else being described/experienced here? Why do or do you not think so?

From the foreward written by Francois Mauriac:

On the last day of the Jewish year, the child (Elie Wiesel) is present at the
solemn ceremony of Rosh Hashanah. He hears thousands of slaves cry out in
unison, “Blessed be the Almighty!” Not so long ago, he too would have knelt and
with such worship, such awe, such love! But this day, he does not kneel, he
stands. The human creature, humiliated and offended in ways that are
inconceivable to the mind or the heart, defies the blind and deaf divinity.
(xx)

He then quotes from Wiesel’s manuscript:

I no longer pleaded for anything. I was no longer able to lament. On the
contrary, I felt very strong. I was the accuser, God the accused. My eyes
had opened and I was alone in a world without God, without man. Without love
or mercy. I was nothing but ashes now, but I felt myself to be stronger than
this Almighty to whom my life had been bound for so long. In the midst of these
men assembled for prayer, I felt like an observer, a stranger.(xx-xxi, 68)

Reflection Questions:
Describe your reaction to Elie’s response, or more accurately, inability to respond to the call to bless the Almighty.
How do you explain what he describes as the ‘strength’ he feels?
In what ways are his charge against God justified?

How have you come to understand God’s role in suffering? How might your ‘theology of
suffering’ be challenged or affirmed were you a Jew during WWII or a Tutsi in Rwanda in our day?

Mauriac’s foreward closes with his response to Elie Wiesel’s charge against God:

And I, who believe that God is love, what answer was there to give my young
interlocutor whose dark eyes still held the face of a hanged child? What did I
say to him? Did I speak to him of the other Jew, this crucified brother who
perhaps resembled him and whose cross conquered the world? Did I explain to him
that what had been a stumbling block for his faith had become a cornerstone for
mine? And that the connection between cross and human suffering remains, in my
view, the key to the unfathomable mystery in which the faith of his childhood
was lost? And yet, Zion had risen up again out of the crematoria and the
slaughterhouses? The Jewish nation has been resurrected from among its thousands of dead. It is the worth of a single drop of blood, one single tear. All is
grace. If the Almighty is the Almighty, the last word for each of us belongs to
Him. That is what I should have said to the Jewish child. But all I could do was
embrace him and weep. (xxi)

Reflection Questions:
Mauriac wrestles with what he knows to be the ‘right’ response for a Christian to give someone who is suffering. As he faces Wiesel across the desk, what do you think makes the right answer oh so wrong to him? From your perspective did he ‘fail’ as a Christian when he chose
to hug and weep with Elie rather than ‘preaching the Gospel?’

Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, that turned my life
into one long night seven times sealed.

Never shall I forget that smoke.

Never shall I forget the small faces of the children whose bodies I saw transformed into smoke under a silent sky.

Never shall I forget those flames that consumed my faith forever.

Never shall I forget the nocturnal silence that deprived me for all eternity of the desire to live.
Never shall I forget those moments that murdered my God and my soul and turned
my dreams to ashes.

Never shall I forget those things, even were I condemned to live as long as God Himself.
Never. (xix, 34)

Jeans That Fit: A metaphor for life and ministry Movement Four

2006-07-13T08:54:00.000-07:00

MOVEMENT FOUR: A Custom Fit

I have an older brother, and at some point during my junior year of high school, I caught on that guys jeans came in custom sizes. You could find pants not only with the right waist size, but in the right length as well. That discovery revolutionized shopping for me, and from that day on, I began to shop in the men’s department at Penney’s. Soon, I had jeans in every shade of denim, and even corduroy too. (An interesting aside here is that I would often put a couple of pairs of jeans on layaway, and pick them up after I had earned enough money to pay the balance. These were men’s jeans, bought in the men’s department, but because I was buying them, I didn’t get 30 days to pick them up as a man might buying these same jeans. I could only leave them on layaway for 2 weeks because I was a woman. No one at Penney’s cared that this was “not fair” and this is certainly a mild version of discrimination, but it left a profound mark on me and served to sensitize me to the other unfairness that abounded (and still abounds to this day) in our culture.)

When you can’t go forward and you can’t go backward and you can’t stay where you are without killing off what is deep and vital in yourself, you are on the edge of creation
(Sue Monk Kidd, The Dance of the Dissident Daughter, San Francisco: Harper, 1996, p. 83)

Sharing Our Own Stories with One Another:

Think of a time in your life when you were looking for a custom or perfect fit. What were you looking for? Did you ever find it?
Briefly describe the situation.
What are some words that best express how you were/are feeling?
Name some things you did that were helpful, unhelpful to you in your search.
How did you know you had found a “perfect fit?”
In what ways has your definition of “perfect fit” changed over the years?
List the life lessons from this experience that could be helpful to you next time- (Oh yes, there will be a next time).
What other questions come to mind and how would you answer those questions?

Take a few minutes to capture in words or pictures the things you have learned about yourself and your current situation, etc. during this sharing time. What has your inner teacher shown you?

Jeans That Fit: A metaphor for life and ministry Movement Three

2006-07-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

MOVEMENT THREE: Ripped vs. Ripped Off

Jeans that don’t fit constrict, feel uncomfortable, prevent freedom of movement, etc. Such discomfort can be ignored for a while, and is easily remedied at one’s convenience. Jeans that are ripped and full of holes are at worst, unattractive and better saved for doing chores, and at best, they serve as an excuse to go shopping. This is not the same as times when you feel as though your jeans have been ripped off you – where you feel exposed, vulnerable, or even in danger.

Sharing Our Own Stories With One Another:

Think of a time in your life when you have felt as if your jeans had been ripped off. Whether in a relationship, or career/ministry setting, etc., when have you felt unsafe, in danger, if you stayed where you were?
Briefly describe the situation, circumstances.
What are some words that best express how you were/are feeling?
Name some things that you did to get out of the situation. OR name the reasons why you chose to stay.
Name some things you did to feel safe again.
How effective were your efforts – in the short run? In the long run?
List the life lessons from this experience that could be helpful to you next time-
(Oh yes, there will be a next time.)
What other questions come to mind and how would you answer those questions?

Take a few minutes to capture in words or pictures the things you have learned about yourself and your current situation, etc. during this sharing time. What has your inner teacher shown you?

Jeans That Fit: A metaphor for life and ministry Movement Two

2006-07-13T08:46:00.001-07:00

MOVEMENT TWO: Letting Go – Going Shopping
I was shopping at Goodwill (more correctly, my son was shopping there because it has now become ‘hot’ to wear thrift store clothes?!?) And as I was browsing, I came upon a designer sweater marked “XL” (extra large) which due to improper care was now smaller that an “XSP” (extra small petite) Not even my high school nemeses could have squeezed in to it. Severe shrinkage had doomed this once lovely J. Crew design to a thrift store garment rack. Jeans, too, have been known to “shrink” as well, to become so tight that unbuttoning the top button brings no relief. Since sitting down in them is impossible and standing up all day in them is an impractical, to say nothing of exhausting, solution, no other choice remains but to put them in the donation pile and go shopping for new “jeans that fit.”

. . . when it comes to letting go, we have to arrive at a moment of
genuine readiness . . . we don’t use force to pry our clinging fingers away; nor
does God. Rather, granting infinite, loving freedom, God offers us the
experience, events, and encounters that help us find the courage to open them
ourselves, with gentleness.
(Sue Monk Kidd, When the Heart Waits, San Fransisco: Harper, 1990, p. 108)

Sharing Our Own Stories With One Another

Think of a time in your life when you couldn’t ‘make do’ any longer. You knew it was time to cast off or donate your old ‘jeans’ to Goodwill and go shopping. Briefly describe the event.
What are some words that best express how you were/are feeling?
How did you know what you were looking for, what would fit?
Where did you go, how did you go about finding it?
What did you do with your ‘old jeans?’ How did you part with them?
How did it feel to let them go?
List the life lessons from this experience that could be helpful to you next time-
(Oh yes, there will be a next time).
What other questions come to mind and how would you answer those questions?

Take a few minutes to capture in words or pictures the things you have learned about yourself and your current situation, etc. during this sharing time. What has your inner teacher shown you?

Jeans That Fit: A metaphor for life and ministry Movement One

2006-07-13T08:42:00.000-07:00

MOVEMENT ONE: When The Jeans No Longer Fit
It is hard to find jeans that fit, and there are times when even our most beloved pairs, perfectly broken-in and faded, start to feel a bit snug – like right after a Thanksgiving feast, or in that in-between stage of pregnancy when you aren’t quite ready (mentally or physically) to start wearing maternity clothes. Sometimes that tightness is easily remedied by unbuttoning the top button or – as generations of mothers-to-be have done – using a rubber band around the button, through the button hole, and back over the button. Aaaah, it feels great to relieve the pressure when your jeans are too tight!

What has been valued in the West in women . . . is inadequate for life. We
mutilate, depotentiate, silence, and enrage ourselves trying to compress our
souls into it just as surely as our grandmothers deformed their fully breathing
bodies with corsets. (Sue Monk Kidd, Dance of the Dissident Daughter)

Sharing Our Stories With One Another:

Think of a time in your life when you have felt like your “jeans” didn’t fit. It might have been a time when you felt either cramped (the jeans were too tight,) or overwhelmed (the jeans were big and baggie) in a relationship, or career/ministry setting, or any other situation that comes readily to mind.
Briefly describe the situation.
What are some words that best express how you were/are feeling?
Name some things you did to relieve the pressure/bagginess of those “jeans.”
How effective were your efforts – in the short run? In the long run?
List the life lessons from this experience that could be helpful to you next time-
(Oh yes, there will be a next time).
What other questions come to mind and how would you answer those questions?

Take a few minutes to capture in words or pictures the things you have learned about yourself and your current situation, etc. during this sharing time. What has your inner teacher shown you?

"Jeans That Fit" A Metaphor for life and ministry Intro

2006-07-13T08:40:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCTION TO THE METAPHOR: These days, it seems that every other store in the mall caters to teens. This was not the case when I was growing up. Back then, there was only one store, Marianne’s, where a young girl was certain to find the latest hip-huggers, peasant skirts and halter tops – certain that is, if she wore a 3 or even an 11, which as a 5’8” athlete, I did not. Try as I might, I could never find jeans that fit – they were either too short, or too tight, or both. Time and again – why did I punish myself so? – I left the store dismayed, “Nothing fits. What’s wrong with me?”

Not finding jeans that fit at Marianne’s left me no other option than to shop at the “old ladies’” stores where things never really fit my teen-age figure, and certainly didn’t flatter it. The other problem with shopping at these “fuddy-duddy” places was that it was not yet acceptable for older women to wear jeans. So, I could find slacks in about any color and a wide variety of ‘easy-care’ fabrics (a vital feature, I guess, to women over 30) but nothing in denim. Can you imagine going through your teen years with nothing to wear but high-waisted pants in a polyester blend? (Shudder!)

It was hard not being the same size as all the other girls in school. It was doubly hard not to be able to dress like them. But what made this situation unbearable was that they noticed. I know, I know. I ‘should have’ considered myself fortunate to even be noticed by these high-fashion misses, even appreciative of the energy they expended to craft derisive little digs to direct my way. Or, at the very least, I ‘should have’ been strong enough to stand up to their taunts, to reply with some catchy come-back that would put them in their place. But I was neither grateful nor resilient. Instead, I would walk away from these frequent hallway encounters wondering, “What’s wrong with me?”
I had taken a perverse pride for so long in struggling on alone; the struggle had given me a flicker of self-esteem, and besides, I had a horror of being a burden or a bore, and putting myself in danger of further humiliating brush-offs. When I was much younger, I had hoped to make friends but there seemed to be no place in the world of the thin for someone like me, and in the end, I’d retreated into isolation. Loneliness was painful, but at least it was silent, devoid of snide laughter and barbed comments. I was used to loneliness now. I thought of it as a chosen solitude, and was only occasionally aware of being unhappy.
(Susan Howatch, The Wonder Worker, New York: Ballantine, 1997, p. 40)

I am now middle-aged, and it has long ago become acceptable for us ‘old ladies’ to wear jeans, too. Not that that makes it any easier to find great fitting jeans at those fuddy-duddy stores I am still shopping at. I take some solace in the fact that my daughter, who wears a size three, and has lots more choices of where to shop than I ever did, also finds it hard to find jeans that fit. And I have noticed something marvelous. I have gotten to the place where I can leave a store empty-handed and never once utter that sorry little phrase, “What’s wrong with me?” Instead, as pair after pair of jeans is rejected as being too long (ironically,) or too tight, or too low, I find myself asking, “Since when did it become O.K. to wear high heels with jeans?!? In my day, that was a Glamour Magazine ‘Fashion Don’t.’ And I’m sorry, but butt cleavage will never be in style.”

I have stopped asking myself, “What’s wrong with me?” I wish I could tell you that it’s because I am in the best shape I’ve ever been, or because I’ve learned to ‘love the skin I’m in.’ Maybe it’s because I’ve grown too old to care. Maybe it’s because the only teens who taunt me now about my (lack of) fashion sense are my own kids. But I suspect that the reason I no longer ask, “What’s wrong with me?” is that my sensitive, self-conscious teen alter ego has found peace at last. All those petite misses in their high fashion jeans from Marianne’s are all middle-aged too – and shopping at the same “fuddy-duddy” stores I do. Even thirty years later, revenge is sweet.

Small Group Leaders Guide

2006-07-13T08:37:00.000-07:00

Our “circles of trust” or small groups have been informed by Parker Palmer’s “A Hidden Wholeness,” Susan Scott’s “Fierce Conversations,” and Logan and Carlton’s “Coaching 101.” I want to share some gems from them with you in hopes that the words might inspire and prepare YOU to facilitate a circle.

From “A Hidden Wholeness”

Two over-riding assumptions:
#1 We all have an inner teacher whose guidance is more reliable than anything we can get from a doctrine, ideology, collective belief system, institution, or leader.
#2 We all need other people to invite, amplify, and help us discern the inner teacher’s voice. (p. 25)

A circle of trust:
~ holds us in a space where we can make our own discernments, in our own way and time, in the encouraging and challenging presence of other people (p. 27)
~ is hospitable to the soul. (p. 49)
~ has no agenda except to help people listen to their own souls and discern their own truth. (p. 53)
~ is a group of people who know how to sit quietly “in the woods” with each other and wait for the shy soul to show up. The relationships in such a group are not pushy but patient; they are not confrontational but compassionate; they are not filled with expectations and demands but with abiding faith in the reality of the inner teacher and in each person’s capacity to learn from it. (p. 59)
~ consists of relationships that are neither invasive nor evasive. (p. 64)

Five features of circles of trust:
~ clear limits (small, limited duration, intentional process)
~ skilled leadership (facilitate, participate; not a therapist, or expert; “I will do what I can to keep this space safe for your soul.” P. 81)
~ open invitations (participation is voluntary, without manipulation or coercion)
~ common ground (metaphors/stories that invite people with diverse beliefs to explore t heir own souls)
~ graceful ambiance (lovely surroundings, schedule with breathing-room, etc.)

Group norms in a circle of trust:
~ No fixing, no saving, no advising, no setting straight. (p. 115)
~ We speak our own truth
~ We listen receptively to the truth of others
~ We ask honest, open questions
~ We offer the healing and empowering gifts of silence and laughter (p. 116)

If your problem is soul-deep, your soul alone knows what you need to do about it, and my presumptuous advice will only drive your soul back into the woods. So the best service I can render when you speak to me about a struggle is to hold you faithfully in a space where you can listen to your inner teacher. (p. 117)

The soul loves silence, because the soul is shy and silence helps it feel safe. The soul loves laughter because it seeks truth and laughter often reveals reality. But above all, the soul loves life, and both silence and laughter are life-giving. (p.153)

The soul is generous: it takes in the needs of the world.
The soul is wise: it suffers without shutting down.
The soul is hopeful: it engages the world in ways that keep opening our hearts.
The soul is creative: it finds a path between realities that might defeat us and fantasies that are mere escapes.
All we need to do is to bring down the wall that separates us from our own souls and deprives the world of the soul’s regenerative powers. (p. 184)

From “Coaching 101: Discover the Power of Coaching”

(Aside: Please don’t be put off by the “power,” “rules” language – the authors are more gracious/flexible than these words suggest. How ‘natural’ it is for them to speak like that both makes me smile and gives me ‘the willies.’)

The coaching process and the ‘key’ questions for each step:
Relate – establish coaching relationship and agenda
How are you doing?
Where are you now?
How can I be praying for you?
What do you want to address?
How can we work together?
Reflect – discover and explore key issues
What can we celebrate?
What’s really important?
What obstacles are you facing?
Where do you want to go?
How committed are you?
Refocus – determine priorities and action steps
What do you want to accomplish?
What are possible ways to get there?
Which path will you choose?
What will you do?
How will you measure your progress?
Resource – provide support and encouragement
What resources will you need to accomplish your goal?
What resources do you already have?
What resources are missing?
Where might you find the resources you need?
What can I do to support you?
Review – evaluate, celebrate, and revise plans
What’s working?
What’s not working?
What are you learning?
What needs to change?
What else needs to be done?
What further training would be helpful? (Appendix)
Cardinal rules of listening:
FOCUS: give undivided attention to the person speaking.
SUMMARIZE: mirror or reflect back what you hear without interpreting, evaluating, or projecting
INVITE: ask questions which encourage coachee to dig deeper or be more specific or discover their own solutions
UNPACK: exhaust (again, strange word choice) coachee’s resources before sharing anything yourself
CLARIFY: check assumptions/understanding of what they are saying by asking good questions that help you understand their exact or full meaning (p. 35-6)

Three simple rules:
Don’t give advice.
Don’t tell something they can discover on their own.
Don’t fix the problem for them. (p. 40)

Three primary rules of coaching:
#1 The person being coached does the work.
#2 The person being coached does the work.
#3 The person being coached does the work. (p. 101)

From “Fierce Conversations”

“fierce” – robust, intense, strong, powerful, passionate, eager, unbridled, uncurbed, untamed (p. 7, as found in Roget’s Thesaurus)

“fierce conversations” – coming out from behind ourselves to make a conversation real. (p. 8)

Seven principles of fierce conversations:
Master the courage to interrogate reality.
Come out from behind yourself and make it real.
Be here, present to be nowhere else.
Tackle your toughest challenge today.
Obey your instincts.
Take responsibility for your emotional wake.
Let silence do the heavy lifting. (xv, xvi)

Four purposes of fierce conversations:
Interrogate reality –
Provoke learning –
Tackle tough challenges –
Enrich relationships - (p. 107-8)

“Revisit, reclarify, and recommit to what your soul desires.” (p. 82)

“Authenticity is not something you have, it is something you choose.” (p. 68)

“There are insights and emotions that can find you in no other way than through and within silence.” (p. 227)

Seven steps to bring clarity, understanding and impetus for change:
1. Identify your most pressing issue.
The issue I most need to resolve is . . .
2. Clarify the issue.
What is going on?
How long has it been going on?
How bad are things?
3. Determine the impact.
How is this issue currently impacting me?
What results are currently being produced by this situation?
How is this issue currently impacting others?
What results is it producing for them?
When I consider the impact of this on myself and others, what are my emotions?
4. Determine the future implication.
If nothing changes, what’s likely to happen?
What’s at stake for me relative to this issue?
What’s at stake for others/
When I consider the possible outcomes, what are my emotions?
5. Examine your personal contribution to this situation.
How have I contributed to the problem?
6. Describe the ideal outcome.
When this issue is resolved, what differenc ewil it make?
What results will I enjoy?
When this issue is reolved, what results will others enjoy?
When I imagine this resolution, what are my emotions?
7. Commit to action.
What is the most potent step I could take to move this issue toward resolution?
What’s going to attempt to get in my way, and how will I get past it?
When will I take this step? (p. 87-9)

You are gifted and experienced leaders/facilitators/ministers of the gospel of grace. These above resources are meant to be informing and inspiring, and to help set the tone of our collaborative small groups/circles of trust. But we trust you to use your own gifts, graces, and discernment to create safe space for each woman to learn, and grow, and have fun. Thank you for your willingness to serve as a facilitator. We hope you will find this to be a rich experience. If you have questions before the 29th, please e-mail or call Liz or myself. See you at the Round Barn!

"How do we make women feel included?"

2006-06-29T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have been asked this question more than once recently in very distinct settings. In each instance, the query was posed by a male in response to my invitation that we as a particular group in a particular ministry setting, be intentional about including the other - women and minorities - in our activities/leadership. And in each instance, the question seemed to stem from the assumption that it is all a matter of perception. How do we make them feel included. If we do x, y, z then women/minorities will percieve that they are a part. I don't want to feel included, I want to be included. And what world view is reflected in the assumption that one person or system can make others feel or do anything? The whole idea is beyond distasteful.

I tried imploring them that it begins within each of us through a change of heart - not just behavior - and is evidenced by an intentional turning toward or hospitality of/with the other. If I love and embrace and receive from the other they will not just feel included, they will BE included. And paradoxically, it is a person's behavior toward the other that reveals whether or not their heart truly welcomes the other.

Language is a key signal for me of whether the heart has made room for the other.

For example, in one of the above mentioned settings, time was spent maligning wives as spend thrifts who are ever-eager to spend more than the husband can bring home. My indignation over how thoughtless this comment was (nevermind, untrue) is only surpassed by my grief at how unconscious it was. No sense on the part of the male speaker or my male counterparts that this statement might be offensive to the 'other' in the room namely, me.

As another example from this same setting, we train planting pastors at 'BOOT CAMP.' Boot camp. I'm sorry, but where in the Bible did Jesus ever speak of ministry/evangelism in militaristic terms? The kingdom of heaven is like . . . a skirmish . . . a battle . . . a conflict requiring violence and warfare?!? And what is wrong with the current planting system that a person (male, of course) has to be prepared for (or weeded out of) church planting through the intense and rigorous training which the name implies? It you can't survie here, you'll never survive out in the battle field? Is that true? What us against them message is that creating in the hearts of these planters? It is abhorent to me!

But, sadly, it is not surprising in a culture where in comversation you are invited to "push back" if you disagree with someone. Push back! No, no BULLIES push. I will converse with you and stay engaged though our views differ, but darling, I won't shove anyone. Hearts that can't perceive the 'power over' or 'distance from' in the words they choose are not yet ready to help the other feel included, let alone truly include him or her.

Behavior is another key indication of an inclusive heart.

As mentioned earlier, for me, inclusion is about being hospitable or 'turning toward' the other.
One of the very persons who asked how one might create an environment in which the other (he used "us/them" language) feels included, sat next to me at lunch. He made no effort to engage me in even polite social conversation and my attempts were met with short cold replies. Rather than carry on a conversation with me, he turned his back toward me and talked to the person to his left during the entire meal. I don't begrudge them their friendship, and if they really need to 'talk shop' then talk away! But that it wasn't even part of his conscious action to welcome, embrace, include, turn toward goes beyond bad manners, or shy personality. And it reaffirms my original claim: Inclusion begins within each of us through a change of heart - not just behavior - and is evidenced by an intentional turning toward or hospitality of/with the other.

I can't make anyone feel welcomed, but I can welcome. I can't make anyone feel included, but I can include them! How do we make women (and others!) feel included? We include them, that's how.

2006-06-27T11:22:00.000-07:00

"Women sometimes pronounce the word "God" a little differently: They can use more feeling and skill with the heart lute."

from "Wise Men Keep Talking About" by Hafiz

A Church Planter's Parable

2006-06-27T10:29:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time, as the Little Red Hen was scratching in a field, she found a grain of wheat.
"This wheat should be planted," she said.
"Who will plant this grain of wheat?"
"Not I," said the Duck.
"Not I," said the Cat.
"Not I," said the Dog.
"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

Soon the wheat grew to be tall and yellow.
"The wheat is ripe," said the Little Red Hen. "Who will cut the wheat?"
"Not I," said the Duck.
"Not I," said the Cat.
"Not I," said the Dog.
"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

When the wheat was cut, the Little Red Hen said, "Who will thresh the wheat?"
"Not I," said the Duck.
"Not I," said the Cat.
"Not I," said the Dog.
"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

When the wheat was threshed, the Little Red Hen said, "Who will take this wheat to the mill?"
"Not I," said the Duck.
"Not I," said the Cat.
"Not I," said the Dog.
"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

She took the wheat to the mill and had it ground into flour.
Then she said, "Who will make this flour into bread?"
"Not I," said the Duck.
"Not I," said the Cat.
"Not I," said the Dog.
"Then I will," said the Little Red Hen. And she did.

She made and baked the bread.
Then she said, "Who will eat this bread?"
"Oh! I will," said the Duck.
"And I will," said the Cat.
"And I will," said the Dog.
"No, No!" said the Little Red Hen. "I will do that."
And she did.

In the world of church planting there exists a model of starting churches innocuously named "adoption." By definition, this is when a governing body of a denomination accepts into membership a new church for the purpose of governance and accountability. In reality, it means that the denomination reaps all the benefits and assumes none of the hard work or risks involved in starting the church in the first place. Every time I've heard the story of yet another new plant being 'adopted' into our denomination, I find myself thinking of the above story of the Little Red Hen. Like the cat, duck, and dog we seem ever eager to eat the proverbial bread, but resistant to the idea that we might play an (in)vested role in seeing these new minstries planted, cut, threshed, ground and baked. For me, this model is less like adoption, and more like abduction.

Wise words to live by

2006-06-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

These words found in the poem "We Have Not Come to Take Prisoners" by Hafiz served as the inspiration for a right response to a quandry (more institutional church emotional abuse and ministry piracy stuff) I was recently facing. I have committed them to memory and suspect thatt they will come in handy in the future since institutional church emotional abuse and ministry piracy seem to come with the territory. (Yes, the irony/desolation of that strike me, too.)

Run my dear
From anything
That does not strengthen
Your precious budding wings

Run like hell my dear,
From anyone likely
To put a sharp knife
Into the sacred tender vision
Of your beautiful heart

This poem is a reminder that we have the right to act to preserve ourselves in the presence of those who have the power to crush our tender wings, stab our sacred tender vision (that particular phrase so resonates for me.) It makes me shiver to think of those in positions of power who choose not to nurture such tender fragile souls but to crush them. And it inspires me to continue speaking up on their behalf and (less frequently) my own.

Round Barn Regathering Reflection

2006-05-02T04:58:00.000-07:00

The Round Barn Re-Gathering is bringing together a group of strong,gifted, and wise women who love God, and are seeking faithfully to doGod's will. Each one is an expert in her own right, and possesses much that can enrich and encourage others. And each wise soul is herown best teacher, able to learn and discern and grow as she listens well to the stories of others and hears anew her own story.

Over the next day and a half, we hope to create space and opportunity to do justthat. Using the metaphor, "jeans that fit" we will be sharing our lives, and inviting one another into a place of listening to our own souls for fresh inspiration, new insight, and increased strength to live our lives in ways that honor who God has called us to be." So, our event description read, or dare I say, prophesied. For strong, gifted and wise they were! And learning, discerning, and growing they did - with passion and heart and authenticity. Round Barn Re-gathering "accomplished its goals" of bringing emergent women together forsupport, encouragement, and collaborative conversation; of inspiringone another to write the books God has given us; of empoweringourselves to gather regionally and challenging one another to initiatecohorts and peer networks; and to celebrate together what God is doingin our lives and ministries. For these reasons and more this weekend event was beyond "successful."

However, for all the amazing and holy things God did in and through us, we left mourning three things in particular. First of all, we grieved that we were meeting as a gender exclusive group. We sensed that 'someone was missing,' because we didn't have the presence of our emergent brothers with whom we could share this experience. We all ached over the reason this was true - that we do not feel that we have a voice, do not feel heard within the emergent conversation. Our silence is deafening to us, and we needed to create space to speak aloud all that is going on in our infinitely wise souls. Our time at the Round Barn Re-gathering was thus less rich because our brotherswere not there.

Thirdly, we were devastated to observe that as diverse as we were inage, and ministry setting, and religious background, there were no people of color in our midst. Extending the invitation to gather strong, gifted, wise women using the cohorts and emergent village website netted not one single minority participant. Their noticeable absence in not just this event but all emergent gatherings causes us sadness, and invites us to question the ways in which our stated values fail to be reflected in our actions. Our time at the Round Barn Re-gathering was less rich because our sisters of color were not there.

gd tlk

2006-04-19T08:28:00.000-07:00

The faith community I am guiding, "Sanctuary" is growing up. And I am 'busting my buttons' with pride. I inherited some gun-shy people from a failed church plant, and have been ever so patient and careful not to overwhelm them, or force them to move faster than they were ready. However, meeting twice monthly was getting to be 'not enough' for me and - I can't help it - creative ideas, dreams of what could be, visions of where we could go were just flowing in my spirit. So, after they had come back from an emergent cohort conversation totally inspired, I suggested that we try something similar in our own backyard. It just felt like it was time to try some of my creative dreamy things.

It felt scary to them at first. But the more they wrestled through their own fears, the more they started getting energized about it. Then they began applying some of what they have discovered about evangelism (see previous post) to develop a few guidelines: we are not doing this to recruit people, or convert them, or criticize them, or to convince them to change their thinking; we are not trying to make them join "Sanctuary;" we will buy the first pitchers of beer :) ; we will keep it real by being authentic ourselves (not hard for this very spiritual but unreligious group of mine); and so on.

We are all convinced that God is at work in the world. We have noticed that the less manipulative/directive our conversations with people are the more readily they share some of the ways they are noticing God's movement. And this from 'non-Christians!' So g*d t*lk, as we have come to call our community conversation is about creating space for people to notice, name, and celebrate God's activity. Each noticing, naming, celebrating, is like praises of thanks to God for these acts of love and grace and mercy and conviction and . . . .

In that same way, this post is a noticing, naming and celebrating of how God is acting to heal and grow the people of Sanctuary. That God would give them courage to try this 'risky venture" is nothing short of glorious!

g*d t*lk
real
people
real
questions
real
conversation

may 2nd
7 pm
K2
downtown
grand haven

Mission As Being

2006-04-19T08:27:00.000-07:00

“Been there, done that, bought the book.” This is the sentiment that best sums up the attitude of the people in my faith community regarding many of the S.O.P.’s of the institutional church. From structure to leadership to worship to discipleship, we know what no longer resonates for us and have done some really courageous work around deconstruction. Now we are on a glorious adventure of refining and redefining the theology and practice of our faith in thoughtful, prayerful ways – ways that make sense to us and find connection with those to whom we minister.

Currently, we are engaged in rethinking mission. We have been struck by all that we have had to unlearn – mission as that which takes place “overseas” and is only done by “missionaries;” evangelism as “a logical line of reasoning;” and salvation as “closing the deal” or “praying the prayer.” It has taken great intentionality to release the negative associations many of us have. But at last we are at a place of remarkable ‘discovery’ that has less to do with what we do and more to do with who we are.

We now experience God using our relationships, our skills, our passions, and even our hobbies to bring God’s healing to a broken world. Released from unworkable definitions we have found freedom to name ourselves as missionaries. Liberated from outmoded practices we willingly “do the work of an evangelist.” Together we are reclaiming mission, redefining it in ways that feel fresh and true to ourselves, and are as natural as breathing, as instinctive as being.

Emergent Women's Retreat

2005-10-10T11:15:00.000-07:00

Round Barn Retreat:
An Emergent Women’s Gathering

Saturday-Sunday

April 29-30, 2006

The Round Barn Inn

Bed & Breakfast
McCordsville, Indiana

Using the barn-raising metaphor inspired by our location, emergent women are gathering this Spring for a spiritual barn-raisin'! Metaphorically, we will 'clear our space' (share our histories, pain, and triumphs), 'set a new foundation' (envision a church or faith community that opens up and supports our experiencing God and God's creation more fully), and then - RAISE THAT BARN (give our vision 'legs'; put our dreams and hopes into action). Among the things we hope to accomplish is a publication by and for emergent women, and a solid network for communication and community.

The weekend will include contemplative prayer time, three major movements of dialogue/discernment/small group discussion, as well as an evening of sharing our personal gifts and passions and expertise. All details have not been finalized, but we anticipate the cost to be approximately $75, which includes three meals. (Housing is not included; rates in Indy run $48 and up.) Registration will be limited to the first 50 women. [If we are overwhelmed with response, a second event is likely.]

Please contact Rev. Liz Buxton mizliz00725@hotmail.com
OR
Elizabeth Potter elizabethepotter@yahoo.com for more information.
To check out the Round Barn Inn: roundbarn-inn.com;
To search for hotels in Indianapolis: expedia.com

Registration form to follow . .

On the edge of creation . . .

2005-05-02T11:42:00.000-07:00

Not my words, but words for me:

When you can't go forward,
and you can't go backward,
and you can't stay where you are
without killing off something deep and vital in yourself,
you are on the edge of creation.
(Sue Monk Kidd: D3)